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Satire warning!

On my flight this morning I was lucky enough to get an upgrade to 1st class. The service in flight was very good. I had an aisle seat and occasionally the attractive stewardess would have to lean across me to serve my seatmate, brushing against me. When we landed and I walked passed her she smiled and winked at me in a very friendly manner. I just realized I was sexually assaulted. I should alert the media and hold a press conference. This abuse of authority must be stopped in its tracks. That light touch, smile and wink was unwelcomed (ok, not really ????) and unwarranted. I will exercise my rights in this democracy and push back and get some attention. The abuse of power in our airways by flight attendants and anyone else who serves the public on terra ferma or elsewhere need to be trained to understand that these unwelcome ???? advances have gone on for too long and must be stopped!! I now understand the actresses whose fannies were litely patted by an invalid former President. I get it. I really do. It is a travesty. Travelers unite!!!! On a side note I hope to see that flight attendant again at some point to confirm my experience. ???? Just sayin'.

Nice Suit and a BACKPACK!!

l am sure it is just me but there is something that is just not right about seeing a young traveling attorney/Jr executive, wearing a very nice three piece dark suit and a walking with a forward lean because of a twenty pound backpack protruding foot from his shoulders. It's hard to stand tall and impressive when hunched over...just saying. ????

Weight Limit?

Ok, I fly a lot and try to keep things in perspective but this one is tough. I board my flight, assigned to a coach seat on the two seat side of an MD88. I prefer aisle but got the window seat. I am tall and broad with a few extra pounds but I stay within my allotted space in my seat. I approached my row and see a problem. The guy in the aisle seat weighs at least 400 lbs and is bleeding over the armrests on both sides. He got up to let me in my seat and then sat down, overflowing on top of me...and he smells. I settle in. It is only a twenty one minute flight, I tell myself.

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